Guest Blog: Chronically Abled

Written by Tania Louise

     I am disabled, but more importantly, I am ABLED.

     At 21, I never thought I would be in chronic pain forever, also I did not think at 21 years old I would be a mother to a beautiful almost 3 year old, a loving partner and a striving student trying to achieve University.

      Every day is marathon day, but you never receive that golden medal. You watch your family cheer you on, with encouragement ‘to do the best you can without hurting yourself’ and biting their nails in anxiousness for us not to ‘over do it’.  

      But it HURTS, everything hurts. Daily tasks are my nemesis. Bathing my son, I adore it, hate the pain it causes. Getting dressed, showering, writing with a pen at college,  opening a jar, climbing stairs. Oh and guess what random lady in the hall, I am not lazy, I am taking the lift because I am in pain! You see, my disability is invisible, I am not. I am a positive, passionate and bubbly young adult who will do what ever it takes to achieve my dream and to give my family what they deserve. It does not mean I am not in pain, it means I am ABLE.

      Pills, exercise, oils, diet change, pills, therapy, new hobbies, PILLS. The only thing for me is cannabis, it takes my pain away and makes me feel free. Unfortunately cannabis is not a go to medicine in my country so has to be used secretly in desperation of pain. I went abroad and found benefits from heat, I could go swimming with my little boy and not have to say ‘sorry mummy needs to go lie down’ whilst daddy carried on swimming with him. It breaks my heart everyday but I will not let it break his.

      From a young age the doctors would always send me away with different answers. Growing Pains. Hormones. Menstrual Cycle. Psychological. Viral cold. 10 years passed and I had a diagnosis and a 1 year old. New mothers should enjoy being a parent, I didn’t. The physical pain was torture, still is. But I have a beautiful happy and healthy family and I am grateful for that. It is just a shame I can not fully enjoy it or carry on to bring more children into the world.

      Aim for lower, do not out do yourself. Are you sure you are able to do that?

      YES. I am ABLE. I am in constant pain but that will not stop me. It will be hard but it will be worth it. I am a college student trying to be a University student, a mother and a partner and I am PROUD. Do not read this and have pity, but have the understanding of what we endure every single day and SMILE. We will say we are fine and okay today but we are not. We just want support. Appreciate the little things we do every single day as that is our marathon.

      We will get that medal one day, not bronze, not silver but GOLD.

      Because

      We are CHRONICALLY ABLE.

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Hi! I am Tania Louise, 21 years old from Stoke on Trent in England. I am a mature student at college with an almost 3 year old beautiful boy and an amazingly supportive partner! Here's an insight to my life and what I naturally wrote without thinking. 

IG: @tanianeedsanap

1 comment

  • Heart breaking story but beautiful aswell, you have always been a beautiful person inside and out and have never stopped following your dreams even when your. Pain was unbearable, hats off to you, and don’t ever give up, or let rude, people get in your way 💕 love to you and you fantastic family keep that beautiful smile you always have shining 😘

    Annie

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