Why I Took A Break
by Krissy Ward
Hey my Warriors!!!
I’ve missed you guys so much! I’ve gotten so many messages and I’m so so thankful to everyone who has reached out to make sure that I was okay. I am now.
I needed to take some time to learn how to love me.
I enjoy being available for you guys; the love and attention that I was giving to you all, I failed to give to myself.
I wasn't eating anything nutritious, in fact some days, I'd forget to eat. I stopped working out and my mental health took a hit.
I was just mentally and emotionally drained. I became really depressed and it was HELL trying to climb out of that depression. Honestly, I'm still climbing out, but the light ahead is MUCH MUCH brighter than it used to be. At one point, I didn't see a light at all at the end of the tunnel, it was so dark and heavy at times.
I felt so bad for taking a break from you guys and of course, it felt like I was sacrificing all of my hard work.
Self-care is a priority, not a luxury, especially when you're chronically ill. Making sure I was there for you guys was my number one priority. It was the first thing I did when I opened my eyes in the morning... I am emotionally available to ALL of my Warriors and I still extend the invite to come to me on my social media platforms because I genuinely get NOT having anyone who “gets it” or really understands. This is why I started Fibro Warriors in the first place.
I absolutely LOVE my Warrior family and this is my life's work. I never wanted anyone to feel left out or ignored, I tried my best to answer every DM or be there for every vent session. I am an empath and I carry your emotions as well as my own and I did not know how to compartmentalize.
I often feel guilty for having unproductive days. I’m working on remembering that relaxing and resting my mind and body is not only healthy but also productive.
I am not always nice to myself. I do not give myself the same grace I show others; that behavior affected me mentally.
I’ve learned that I need to be ok with taking breaks when needed, just like stopping for gas while on a road trip. Because what happened was... my "car" broke down on this road trip and the consequences lasted way longer...
Let me get you caught up on what I’ve been up to.
A lot of you know that I am currently on a weight loss journey and honestly, once you're on the journey, you never really get off. I try to exercise or get some sort of movement in 4-5x a week. Although it started and still is at times, very painful, it has been worth it. I have noticed that my flares last a lot shorter since I have become more active. I just started by walking a little further each day.
I have a routine now. It starts with putting myself first. My phone setting stays on "Do Not Disturb" (of course, I let my mom and best friend's notifications still come through *wink*) I do not start my day scrolling through social media. I say my affirmations that I have written and posted around my bedroom and I go work out or go for a walk. I listen to my music that motivates or encourages me.
I am getting into the habit of setting my own tone for the day instead of reacting to what happens that day. Sticking to my routine makes it become a habit and it's more natural for me to do it and I'd feel weird if I stopped.
Practicing self care is one of those things that we often don't take enough time or even feel like we don't have the time for, but making sure your body and mental health is needed to be able to help others. I can't give others a "ride in my car" if I run out of gas.